Scary Stories
by haruhinozuka
Summary: Bitter Once-ler has always hated Swag-ler's guts, but is it really hate? Finally a scary story competition tests Bitter's limits. BitterxSwag Tumblr pairing, this confusing-ness is all explained inside. Yes these guys are both Once-lers Rated M for Bitter's foul mouth. ONE SHOT for Camp Weehawken! Swittercest


_**Hey guys well Camp Weehawken has started up on tumblr and I'm super excited! For those who don't know Camp Weehawken (Weehawken Weekend) is a time in the summer where all the Once-ler RP accounts on tumblr pretend they're at this huge camp for once-lers! :D (The fem version of this camp is Camp South Stitch which is right across the lake ;)) And on tumblr there are all kinds of crazy Once-ler's (not just the usual ones!) and the pair I'm doing is Bitter Once-ler x Swag-ler! Alright enjoy the campy merriment 3**_

_**~Em-chan!**_

_Thunk! _The arrow sailed through the air and sunk into the target just a little bit off the bulls-eye. Growling, Bitter notched another arrow and prepared to fire.

"Bitter my man!" A very familiar and obnoxious voice sounded behind him and the arrow went flying into a nearby truffula tree; sending a group of Swomee Swans flying away in fright.

"Swag-ler," He hissed through clenched teeth, his grip tightening on his bow to the point where it almost snapped in two. Swiftly Bitter whipped a arrow out from his quiver and loaded the bow; spinning around and pointing it dead center on Swag-ler's forehead. "What do you want you turfquaffer?" He narrowed his eyes at the once-ler before him; his usual mussed up hair sat under the same green top hat and the same old bug eyed sunglasses adorned his face but instead of his money colored suit jacket and black pants he was wearing a Camp Weehawken shirt and some cargo pants. Both of which looked like they'd been dunked in vats of multi-colored glitter glue. He'd probably just come from arts and crafts.

Swag-ler sighed heavily. "Bro, what does that lame ass word even mean?" Bitter began pulling back the string of the bow, preparing to let an arrow fly straight through Swag's forehead. He gulped and went a bit cross eyed staring at the weapon. "Okay chill I just came to see if you were down for some scary stories tonight back at the cabin?"

"Sounds boring, now fuck off." He turned back around, hoping the sparkly once-ler would take the hint and leave before he rearranged his face. But just as Bitter was about to let loose another arrow Swag-ler popped up beside him; giving him a toothy smirk.

"So what are you up to?" Bitter twitched in annoyance.

"I'm practicing archery you dip shit and if you don't get lost my next target will be your turfquaffing face, go it?" Bitter said in a strained voice. Resisting the urge to turn around and shoot an arrow through his paint splattered jugular. Swag just held his hands up in surrender and turned on his heel, heading off into the camp; the cocky smirk never once leaving his face.

"Fine, check ya later bro!" He called back over his shoulder. Bitter just growled and let and arrow fly towards the target, hitting it dead center. He fired a few more shots, hitting the bulls-eye each time. All the while he pictured Swag-ler's head in place of the target.

(Time skip!)

"Hey someone pass me a stick,"

"Don't hog all the damn marshmallows!"

"I swear if you don't shut up I'll throw you into the damn fire,"

"Hey all this smoke keeps getting in my hood!"

"OW! I swear if you poke me with that stick _one more time_,"

"Let's sing some campfire songs," The noise was overwhelming by the fire pit as all the campers crowded around and tried to make some smores. There was much bumping and shoving and at one point Creep-ler had almost been pushed into the fire. It would have happened if not for One-ler catching him just in time, they both blushed profusely making the whole ring of campers release a chorus of 'Ooooohhhh's' but they kept insisting that it was just because of the firelight. Everyone knew about Creep-ler and One-ler's "secret" relationship but they still tried to cover it up. (A/N: On tumblr you can tell they both have total crushes for each other but they both deny it. Which is really stupid if you ask me because basically everyone at Camp Weehawken is gay except Ted Wiggins. Yes they let a Ted Wiggins RP'er into a Once-ler RP camp…)

Bitter munched on his smore and surveyed the ruckus before him; it was beginning to give him a headache. The bitter once-ler was seriously considering stealing some marshmallows and ditching. But he knew if he tried then Camp Director Lorax would drag him back and make him sit right in front of the fire for the rest of the time. Bitter went back to munching on his smore moodily when something caught his eye from across the tiny bonfire; Swag-ler was eating his smore and laughing heartily with a group of campers. Flickering flames were reflected in his shining blue glasses and illuminated his tanned face. For a moment Swag's glasses flashed and he got a glimpse of the piercing electric blue eyes that hid behind them. Bitter's breathing began to get uneven and he was clueless as to why. _Maybe it's all the smoke,_ He thought to himself. _Yah that must be it._ He quickly averted his gaze from Swag-ler, lest he catch him and jump to the wrong conclusion; his ego didn't need anymore biggering. Out of nowhere a shout sounded from the group of campers;

"**FOOD FIGHT!**" There was a moment of silence then Vamp-ler was hit in the face with steaming hot marshmallow goo.

"Bastard!" He hissed out; throwing his smore blindly as he tried to wipe the white fluff from his UV protecting sunglasses. (A/N: Yes it is night out but Vamp-ler always wears his glasses out of habit.) And with that a full scale food fight developed; giving Bitter the perfect opportunity to escape unnoticed by The Lorax. He snatched up some smore materials and made a mad dash for his cabin.

No sooner had Bitter set up his smore operation in his corner bed then this other cabin mates, Swag-ler, Nightthneeds, Ted, Entre-ler, 1972 Once-ler, and the Hufflepuff made their way into the room laughing and picking marshmallow fluff off their persons. To Bitter's surprise there was an additional camper padding along behind the boys, Ditz; a twelve year old boy and Camp Weehawken's residential drunk once-ler. The first time Bitter had seen the boy he was stumbling through the camp entrance holding a bottle titled _Lifted Lorax_. After they confirmed he was an actual camper and not some crazy hobo they confiscated his alcohol, which Ditz fought for like a tiger. But eventually he sobered up and began to enjoy the camp.

"Hey Ditz, what are you doing over here?" Ditz looked scared out of his mind and just stood there frozen. '72 sighed and walked over, patting the younger boy on the shoulder.

"Pimp was turning their cabin into his new brothel and was trying to recruit Ditz here." Bitter couldn't see '72's face but his voice was laced with annoyance. He grimaced at the news. He and '72 had both shared a cabin with Pimp-ler last year and had been through the exact same thing.

"Hey kid, have a few, they'll help." He held out the bag and the young once-ler gladly took a handful of marshmallows, nodding his thanks. Bitter popped one into his mouth and looked on at the group.

"Alright guys, scary story time!" All of the boys gathered around in the center of the room, except Bitter who opted to stay as far away from the group as possible; worrying he'd catch their idiocy. Swag-ler looked up at Bitter; his sunglasses had slipped down the bridge of his nose exposing those entrancing electric blue eyes again, the bitter once-ler froze where he sat. "Come on Bitty, stop being an anti-social rock and tell some scary stories!" He grinned over at him. He narrowed his eyes into vicious slits.

"Call me that again you fucking turfquaffer. _I dare you_." He snarled out, making Swag visibly flinch.

"Okay jeez, we'll just go one without you, lame ass." He turned back to the group and they began the story telling. Ted went first, he told some lame story about him almost getting caught spying on Audrey in the dead of night. No one was impressed. _No surprise there._ Bitter thought dryly. '72's story wasn't half bad though; it was about the spirit of a dead employee that haunted his thneed factory and wherever once-lers were the spirit would follow to enact revenge for her death. A few shivers went down the spines of the other once-lers in the room. Ted just sat there smirking at all of them.

Time went on and the stories were pretty crappy, the last person to go was Swag-ler. "Alright, the story I'm about to tell you is based on true facts from old camp legends I got from Creep-ler." Bitter shook his head in mock sadness and lay back on his cot, closing his eyes to relax. "They say; that if you travel deep enough into the truffula forest you will find dark dead looking versions of the colorful trees. And in that part of the forest there lives a man, named the Creeper. No one knows anything about him because…..HE EATS ANYONE WHO COMES INTO HIS PART OF THE FOREST!" He yelled the last part in what was supposed to be a sinister voice. Bitter lay there on his bed, looking over at the group, eyebrows raised. Ted had hidden under one of the bunks, '72 was pulling his hood down over his already obscured face, Entre and Thneednight were hiding under the covers of two top bunks and Hufflepuff had leaped up onto the swinging lantern that hung from the ceiling, shivering in fear.

"You guys are seriously scared?" Bitter asked incredulously. "You were really scared by that bull shit story?"

"Hey, it's totally true! You're just jealous that you don't have as mad scary story telling skills as I do." Swag protested from the floor.

"Oh yah, well if no one knows anything about this Creeper guy then how the hell did you even get this story?" Swag sat there on the floor sputtering. Bitter laid his head back down on the pillow, smirking triumphantly. "That's what I thought." After a moment of awkward silence Swag-ler shot up from the wood floor.

"I'm gonna prove to you that the Creeper exists! Were going into the woods!"

"Um no thanks, it's the first day of camp and I'd rather not get sent home because I was fucking running around through the woods with some stupid turfquaffer. Go be stupid somewhere else."

"What's wrong _Bitty_? Chicken?" The bitter once-ler shot straight out of bed and marched over to Swag; grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.

"Get your ass in gear, were going to the woods." Swag-ler was shocked, but soon a confident, animalistic grin wormed its way onto his face.

(Time skip!)

The two boys made their way through the forest, the only illumination they had was the waning moon above their heads. They had been walking for an hour before they finally saw something; a black spindly trunk with a brown tuft on the top. Bitter's eyes widened and Swag puffed his chest out with pride.

"I told you so," He grinned. Bitter composed himself, trying to look indifferent and trying even harder not to gaze at Swag-ler's smug face.

"I don't see a Creeper yet." The two continued on through the depressing looking truffulas when suddenly a growl was heard somewhere close by. Bitter froze in terror. "W-W…What w-w-was th-hh-at?" He stuttered out, his body was frozen in fear. Swag turned to face him, trying to look confident, but you could tell that he was a little bit scared himself.

"What's the matter Bitty, scared?" Bitter growled and pushed the other once-ler up against the trunk of a darkened truffula.

"Don't test me out here, where I could easily kill you and no one would fucking know." He hissed out. Right now he was eternally grateful for the dark night sky and the shade of the truffula tree. Because a dark blush had painted Bitter's cheeks from Swag's comment; deep down, though he'd never admit it even if tortured, he _really_ liked it when Swag-ler called him Bitty. The way he said it sounded so affectionate but at the same time sexy. It filled him up with a bubbly feeling and a sense that he was special. Swag-ler smirked and leaned in; his hot breath ghosting over Bitter's skin making him shiver.

"You're all bark and no bite _Bitty_." He purred out. When he pulled back his lips were twisted up in his usual smirk, exposing a few pointed teeth. That sight did it; Bitter's self control and rational thought unraveled right there and he slammed his slips onto Swag-ler's. "Mmpf!" At first Swag didn't know what was going on but he soon realized he didn't give a damn; he was kissing Bitter Once-ler, the boy who he'd been trying attract since the beginning of camp, and it was so much better than he'd ever imagined. He wrapped his arms around Bitter's waist and pulled him as close to his body as he could. But soon they had to break their loving embrace for air. "Not bad Bitty," Swag panted as he placed a small kiss on the other once-ler's soft lifts. "Not bad at all."

When they finally made it back to cabin they both collapsed on Bitter's bed in exhaustion. Swag tossed off his glasses and hat, snuggling into the bitter once-ler's chest. Bitter threw a sheet over their intertwined forms and wrapped his arms around the other's waist.

"I love you ya' know." Swag mumbled.

"Yeh love you too." He said groggily. They fell asleep like that, unaware of a smirking '72 watching from the shadows of his jacket hood.

_**Woop woop! Finished just in time for the end of Weehawken Weekend! Hope everyone enjoyed. **_

_**~Em-chan!**_


End file.
